Do Muslims practice polygamy? Truth about polygamy in Islam

Looking at Islam from the outside, there is a lot to see – women in varying degrees of hijabs, men in white full-length robes and beards, public prayer displays on the streets, even in Western countries. You also hear contradicting messages from the media about Islam and Muslims. So, unless you take the time to learn about Islam from trusted resources, you will stay confused and pulled in different directions.

Many questions Western audiences have about Islam center around Muslim women and marriages – we see the submissiveness and oppressive hijabs, when Islamic media affirms that their religion uplifts and empowers women. We hear about the way family is honored and revered, but then we notice the strict and powerful patriarchal dynamics. What is the truth?

To address marriage as a whole, here is a broader article that covers the many differences between Islamic marriage and how God designed marriage in the Bible. But here, we will focus on one question:

Do Muslims believe in polygamy? Is a Muslim man allowed to have more than one wife?

The answer is yes, in Islam, polygamy is not only a normal and widespread practice, but it is specifically mentioned and prescribed in the Quran.

According to Surah 4:3-4, a Muslim man is allowed to marry four women at the same time, as long as he is able to treat them fairly and provide for them financially.

“If you fear you might fail to give orphan women their due rights if you were to marry them, then marry other women of your choice—two, three, or four. But if you are afraid you will fail to maintain justice, then content yourselves with one or those bondwomen in your possession. This way, you are less likely to commit injustice. Give women you wed their due dowries graciously. But if they waive some of it willingly, then you may enjoy it freely with a clear conscience.”

In this same verse and others, there is an affirmation that Muslim men have the right to take concubines from captives and slaves, since Islam is a religion of conquest and power. So the number of sexual partners is not limited to four, only that these additional women do not receive the same benefits and care as the wives.

Was Muhammad a polygamist? Did Muhammad have multiple wives?

Islam’s founder and leader, Muhammad, lived the first portion of his life as a monogamist – married to Khadijah, a woman much older and wealthier than him. It was Khadijah who first urged Muhammad that the visions he received in the cave in 610 AD were from Allah, confirming his prophethood.

However, after Khadijah died, Muhammad married many women (some sources say 11 and 15, with their names and tribes listed). Being Allah’s chosen prophet, he received special privileges to take more wives than any other Muslim man. He married women from conquered peoples or allies, even pursuing his daughter-in-law to the point of receiving a special revelation from Allah to abolish adoption so she could become his wife. At the time of his death, Muhammad had 9 wives still married to him. Learn more about Muhammad here.

Temporary Unannounced Marriages - Another form of polygamy in Islam

There is a practice that was common at the beginning of Islam, and is now continued by Shia Muslims, called Temporary Unannounced Marriage (in Arabic, mut’a, which literally means enjoyment). This allows a man to enter a marriage with an unmarried woman, secretly, for an agreed-upon time, between an hour and 99 years, for a payment they agree on.

Shia Muslims use Surah 4:24 to argue that this is allowed:

“Also forbidden are married women—except female captives in your possession. This is Allah’s commandment to you. Lawful to you are all beyond these—as long as you seek them with your wealth in a legal marriage, not in fornication. Give those you have consummated marriage with their due dowries. It is permissible to be mutually gracious regarding the set dowry. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.”

Shia Muslims are the only ones who continue this practice today – Sunnis do not allow this anymore, but they acknowledge that this was a practice in Muhammad’s time. 

There are additional forms of marriage that allow Muslims to enter into temporary and secret agreements, depending on the sect they are from.  Misyar and Urfi are Sunni practices of secret marriages, where two Muslims can have a sexual partnership without any formality or publicity. This is often used to hide relationships from family and friends and have more sexual partners.

More often than not, temporary marriages are used by Muslim men to satisfy their sexual urges when they are traveling without their wives. The limited time of the arrangement means he has sexual privilege over a woman without needing to commit to anything other than paying her. These ceremonies do not require witnesses, which opens up women to the risk of abuse under the guise of a temporary arrangement.

Something about this may sound familiar: a man paying a woman to have sex with him without commitment. Temporary marriages are used to legally allow prostitution since the contract can last as short as one hour.

How do Muslim scholars defend polygamy?

Muslim scholars and teachers have many different arguments to defend and promote their practice of polygamy. Here is a summary of some of the most popular arguments:

1. Legal polygamy is better than rampant adultery: They argue that Western culture without legal polygamy is still sexually polygamous, except they do not have legal protections over a man’s additional lovers or partners.

2. Polygamy accounts for man’s higher sexual appetite: Scholars argue that because women have lower sexual drive and menstrual periods up to 10 days, it is appropriate and natural for a man to have another sexual companion during that time because he cannot help his higher sex drive. It is better to have another wife to visit during these times instead of visiting prostitutes.

3. Polygamy can solve issues of infertility: Because childbearing and growing the ummah of Islam is vital for a Muslim to gain Allah’s favor, it is considered devastating if a wife cannot produce heirs for her husband. Scholars argue that men should be allowed to take a second wife to address this issue.

4. Women outnumber men, and they should be married: Islamic culture expects all women to get married and bear children. The idea that a woman would be unmarried is a horrible thought, and could lead to her sinning and becoming pregnant without a husband. They claim women outnumber men; therefore, men need to take more than one wife.

5. Islam believes polygamy honors women and protects them: To argue against those who bring up women’s rights, scholars argue that polygamy gives more women the chance to be protected by a husband and requires all four wives to be treated equally.

Muslim women and polygamy: How are Muslim women affected by polygamy in Islam?

Many of the points above that scholars use are based on how they believe Muslims “should behave” under polygamy. That does not mean that in the lived practice of polygamy, this is how it truly plays out.

It is very common for a man to take more than one wife, even if he cannot financially support them (as the Quran requires). This leads to poverty for the family, and wives worry about how they can provide for their children.

It is no surprise that the polygamous marriage in Islam is a breeding ground for jealousy and favoritism within the marriage. The husband often picks a favorite wife, whose children he favors, while the others are cast aside and have to fight for his remaining attention.

Still, some Muslim women have tried to use the media in recent years to encourage women to accept polygamy. They argue again that men cannot help their sexual urges, and it would be better to live married to a man with another wife than for a man to divorce you for another woman.

Muslims try to defend polygamy using the Old Testament: How can Christians respond?

Muslims defend polygamy by saying that the Bible’s Old Testament is full of polygamous marriages. As Christians, how can we respond to this argument and explain God’s true design for marriage?

The Bible teaches that marriage is a lifelong union between one man and one woman; they become one. The marriage between one man and one woman was God's purpose from the beginning. We read about it in the first three chapters of the book of Genesis.

Polygamy started after sin entered the world. The first polygamous man was Cain, and we all know that Cain rebelled against God and disobeyed His commandments. God tolerated attitudes to marriage among His ancient people in the Old Testament, because of 'the hardness of their hearts' as Jesus puts it in the Gospel of Mark, but this fell short of His perfect plan.

Even so, the Old Testament records some bitter experiences of rivalries, jealousies, conspiracies, and murders, which were the direct outcome of polygamous marriages of some key personalities in the Old Testament, such as Jacob and King Solomon. That’s why in the new covenant through our Lord Jesus Christ, marriage is a sacred, lifelong relationship between one man and one woman. Jesus helps us return to the state before the fall in the area of marriage, where men obediently follow God’s initial plan: one man and one woman.

It is important to point out that just because something is in the Bible, it does not mean that it is God’s will – there are murders, betrayals, and injustices everywhere in the Bible. It shows how broken humanity is and always has been; it does not mean God approves of it all.

How can Christians talk to Muslims about polygamy and marriage?

If you are a Christian with a Muslim friend, then you will see how central the family is to Islamic culture. At the core of this is marriage, but there is a gross inequality between the value of men and women.

To talk to your Muslim neighbor about marriage, it is best to start with questions instead of attacks on their beliefs. Some Muslims are very modern and personally do not live polygamous lives, so it is important to ask first what they believe.

If they ask about your beliefs, point to what the Bible says about marriage. Affirm that marriage is not a contract but a covenant; it is a binding promise and vow in front of God between a man and a woman. Explain that God created this unique relationship called marriage, where a man and a woman become one, so they make a family and glorify Him on this earth.  

“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:6-9

Prayer for sharing the gospel with Muslims

Dear Lord, please give me wisdom to use whatever topics I can to share your love with Muslims. Give me the courage to speak the truth boldly with compassion and love. Amen.