Share The Gospel With Muslim Fathers: What You Need To Know About Muslim Fatherhood

It’s no secret that fathers play a key role in families;  they are responsible for leading their families spiritually, providing for their needs, and loving them sacrificially. In most cases a person’s relationship with their father can influence how they interact with people for the rest of their life because of how integral that relationship is to them as children.

Fatherhood is a core analogy for how we are told we can relate to God, because we are His adopted children through Christ. Perhaps this is why the enemy tries to separate families and ruin child-father relationships, so people do not feel comfortable accepting God as the heavenly Father. It is a sad truth that in our broken sinful world, many do not have a good experience with their father or even have a father in their life. 

Fatherhood is a heavy mantle on a man’s shoulders because it can impact their children and family for generations to come. If you are a father, you know how your life changed the moment your first child was born. As believers, we can look to God the Father as an example for how we should treat our children, but not everyone has the sound biblical example to follow.

Muslim fathers specifically don’t have the Bible’s example of what fatherhood should look like, but they, too, try to live up to certain standards. Islamic family roles are very explicitly outlined in the Islamic religion and Shari’a law. We’ve covered expectations for Muslim mothers before (read it here). Now it is time to learn what is expected of Muslim men when they start a family.

When we understand what life looks like for Muslim fathers, we can better understand them and share the gospel with compassion and knowledge.

What are the expectations of Muslim fathers?

The gender roles in a Muslim family are clear: the father is superior to the mother in every aspect. He is the provider and protector for every member in his home.

Muslim fathers are supposed to protect their family from any physical harm, but they are also responsible for protecting the honor of their individual and extended family. This sometimes pushes Muslim fathers to take strict action and punish any family member whose actions could bring shame to the family as a whole. For example, if a Muslim father discovers a child has become a Christ-follower, they may try to kill them to wipe out the shame that the convert has brought on the family.

The Quran and Hadith have multiple passages about fathers. Here are some examples of popular hadiths where we read what Muhammad taught his followers:

“A man’s insulting his father is one of the major wrong actions in the sight of Allah, the Almighty.” Al-Adab Al-Mufrad Lī Al-Bukhārī

“Allah’s pleasure is found in the happiness of the father while God’s anger is a result of the displeasure of one’s father.” –Ibn Ḥibbān

Islam also teaches that a father should pray for his children and the children must do everything they can to treat their father well. However, the relationship between Muslim fathers and children can be very impersonal because of the strict and formal nature of Islam. How this is lived out is truly dependent on each family’s devotion to Islam’s rules.

Are all Muslim men expected to become fathers?

Every Muslim boy expects to be a father someday. Marriage and children are expected and are ordered by Allah, because Muslims are required to expand the ummah of Islam by creating children (the Ummah is the nation of Islam made up of every Muslim around the world).

The pressure to have children is one reason Muslim men marry more than one wife. If a Muslim couple cannot have children, the husband is urged to marry another woman to have descendants through her. Many husbands have been forced to marry a second or third wife if they only have girls from their first wife, or if the wife cannot produce male heirs. 

Usually, when a Muslim man has more than one wife with children, strained relationships form between the children and their father. Also, fathers will often have favorite wives and therefore favorite children, leading the kids to compete for their father’s attention and affection.

The Muslim father is a victim of Islam just as the mother is. He is born to provide for his family and parents, to protect his family’s honor even if he has to kill, and he must defend and expand Islam. There is no choice for him to provide mercy to his children, but rather, he must be an obedient servant to Allah.

Why is understanding Muslim fatherhood important when it comes to evangelism

Christians need to understand Islam’s cultural and family structure as they are evangelizing to their Muslim friends, especially when it comes to parental roles. Our experiences with our parents shape how we view and interact with much of the world and even how we interact with God.

God is our heavenly Father. If your Muslim friend has a poor relationship with their earthly father, then they might be inherently distrustful of the relationship that God is offering them.

While you are sharing the Gospel with your Muslim friend, you may need to emphasize what God is like as a Father so they would learn He is not like their human father. Here are some ways that the Bible describes God as a father:

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36

“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are.” 1 John 3:1

“Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” Psalm 103:13

Specifically, when reaching Muslim fathers with the gospel, it is key to acknowledge the pressure they are under. There is no room in their life to question their religion or be honest if they do have questions, because they are supposed to be a perfect icon of faith for their family’s sake. Getting a Muslim father to admit he is questioning Islam might take a while, but do not underestimate God’s ability to soften hearts!

God is loving, merciful, and compassionate towards us, His children. Explain to your Muslim friend that He loves them so much that He sent Jesus to die for them just so that He could have a relationship with them (John 3:16). He is better than any earthly father, good or bad, because He is the model for what fatherhood should look like.

Prayer for reaching Muslim fathers

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing me into your kingdom and family. Help me bring your presence and love to the Muslim fathers around me. Open their hearts to know you are the true heavenly Father who can fill all their void. Amen.