What everyone should know about Muhammad's child bride and favorite wife, Aisha

Warning: This blog post contains content including sexual and child abuse. 

As Christ followers, we need to obey the Great Commission that Jesus gave us and share the gospel with others, including our Muslim friends and neighbors!

It is extremely helpful for Christians to know some facts about Islam before or while evangelizing to Muslims. It’s not required, of course, but it helps when we have a good understanding of Islam as a religion and ideology. This way, we can have a general initial idea about what our Muslim friend believes, which can lead to meaningful conversations and questions.

One core piece of understanding Islam is knowing about its founder, Muhammad. To learn about his life in full detail, you can read here. However, there is one controversial topic that not many Christ-followers read into and study, and it is a very problematic side of Muhammad: His child bride and favorite wife, Aisha.

Before we jump into Aisha’s life and marriage to Muhammad, we’ll quickly explain what Islam says specifically about marriage to child brides.

Islam’s rules about child brides

The Quran permits men to marry child brides (prepubescent girls) and divorce them (Sura 65:4):

“As for your women past the age of menstruation, in case you do not know, their waiting period is three months, and those who have not menstruated as well. As for those who are pregnant, their waiting period ends with delivery. And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make their matters easy for them.”

Sadly, in Islam, women are the property of men and are made for their sexual gratification.

When it comes to child marriage, men are required to ask a child bride for her consent. But this does not protect the girl in any way. According to the Hadith, a girl’s silence means she agrees to marriage.

“A virgin should not be married till she is asked for her consent; and the matron should not be married till she is asked whether she agrees to marry or not." It was asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How will she (the virgin) express her consent?" He said, "By keeping silent." Sahih al-Bukhari 6968

This is exactly what happened to Aisha, Muhammad’s child bride.    

Who was Aisha? Muhammad’s youngest and favorite wife

In Sahih al-Bukhari 3894, Aisha herself tells about the day Muhammad came to claim her. To her surprise, she was taken from her playmates, cleansed and adorned for Muhammad, and then “handed over to him.”

While Islam allows men to have up to 4 wives, Allah gave Muhammad a special exception (Suran 33:50). History tells us that he had somewhere between 13 and 16 wives (not including concubines and sex slaves). Aisha was his third, youngest, and favorite wife. Because Aisha was favored, the other wives were jealous of her. She was also the daughter of one of Muhammad’s closest followers, Abu Bakr, who eventually became one of his successors (Caliphs). 

We learn from the Hadith: 

“The Prophet wrote the (marriage contract) with `Aisha while she was six years old and consummated his marriage with her while she was nine years old and she remained with him for nine years (i.e. till his death).” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5158)

In other words, at age 53, Muhammad was engaged to six-year-old Aisha, and just three years later, as a 56-year-old man, he consummated the marriage with his 9-year-old wife. Another Hadith confirms that Aisha was merely a “little girl” and had not gone through puberty (Sahih al-Bukhari 6130)

How is Aisha an important figure in Islam?

Due to the 47-year age gap between Aisha and Muhammad, she outlived him. At age 18, after 9 years of marriage, she was left a widow. But this did not mean she could start a new life. Instead, the Quran prohibited her and the other widowed wives of Muhammad from ever marrying again (Sura 33:53). 

In Islam, there are two views of Aisha: a Sunni view and a Shia view. To learn more about these sects of Islam and the difference between them, read here. 

Sunnis revere Aisha as “The Mother of Believers” because they believe Abu Bakr (Aisha’s father) was Muhammad’s rightful successor. Aisha also recorded two thousand Hadiths (Muhammad’s stories and sayings) which Sunni Muslims view as trustworthy. 

On the other hand, Shia Muslims believe that Ali (Muhammad’s cousin and son-in-law) was Muhammad’s rightful heir. Siding with her father (Abu Bakr), Aisha was at odds with Ali. Because of this, Shia Muslims dislike Aisha and see her Hadith as unreliable.   

Why did Muhammad marry Aisha?

There are three main factors that Muslim scholars claim to be the reason Muhammad married Aisha.  

• One of his followers, Khawlah, the wife of Uthman,  advised him to remarry after his first wife died. She then suggested he should marry Aisha. 

• Muhammad considered this marriage to be a political arrangement to fortify the connection with his strong ally and friend, Abu Bakr, who was from the largest and wealthiest pagan tribes in the religion, Quraysh. 

• The Hadith records that Muhammad had a bizarre dream about Aisha becoming his wife. 

Muhammad’s Example of sex in Islam

Besides taking part in and promoting the exploitation of girls as young as nine, Muhammad also encouraged men to marry young virgins for various carnal reasons. Take this Hadith for example: 

“When I got married, Allah's Messenger said to me, 'What type of lady have you married?’ I replied, ‘I have married a matron.' He said, ‘Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?’ Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger said, ‘Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?’” (https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5080 Sahih al-Bukhari 5080). 

Despite Muhammad’s actions toward underage girls, Islam calls him the greatest prophet and best moral guide for Muslims. Consider what Allah says about Muhammad in the Quran:

“We have sent you ˹O Prophet˺ only as a mercy for the whole world.” (Sura 21:107)

“And you are truly ˹a man˺ of outstanding character.” (Sura 68:4)

“Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example for whoever has hope in Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah often.” (Sura 33:2)

Overall, Aisha's story raises serious questions for Muslims about Islam’s greatest prophet and the “morals” he encouraged. 

What are the consequences of Muhammad’s example?

Though Muhammad’s marriage to Aisha may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of history, it has serious consequences even to this day among Muslims, including: 

• The lawful sexual abuse of underage girls (in countries with Sharia Law)

• Muslim fathers giving their underage daughters in marriage 

• Muslim men allowed to take child brides as young as 6 

• Underaged Muslim girls being physically, emotionally, and mentally harmed for life 

• The Islamic cultural norm that creates an atmosphere conducive to this abuse, even in Western countries

Why should Aisha’s story matter to Christians?

The greatest lesson that Christians can learn from Aisha’s story is that Christianity and Islam, the Bible and the Quran, and Jesus and Muhammad have foundationally opposing moral systems.  

Aisha's story should matter to Christians for two reasons. First, Islam’s view of sexuality is immoral and unbiblical. The Bible repeatedly condemns lust, sexual immorality, and lack of self-control. Yet, by the Quran’s standards and Muhammad’s example, these behaviors are allowed and encouraged. As we see from the tragedy of Aisha, Muhammad idolized sexual pleasure and treated women as objects. 

While the Bible is filled with commands to love, protect, and respect women, Islam permits men to use their physical strength to dominate and dishonor women of all ages. Consider these biblical teachings and compare them to Islam: 

• A 12-year-old female is still just a “little girl” (Mark 5:41)

• Those who harm children will face severe judgement (Matthew 18:6) 

• Women are to be treated with purity- older women should be treated as mothers and younger women as sisters  (1 Timothy 5:2)

Aisha's story matters because Christ calls us to care for and have compassion upon the oppressed. Every day, Muslim women and girls are the victims of Islam’s teaching on marriage and sexuality. 

How to talk to Muslims about marriage

Since you now know a little more about Aisha, let this fuel your conversations with your Muslim friends. Not in an angry way, but an informed way.  Ask them how they view marriage and what qualities are important in a marriage. If you are single, share about your personal hopes and dreams for marriage. If you are married, share about how you keep Christ at the center of your marriage. 

Here are a few questions to kick-start your conversation:

• What are the qualities of a good husband or wife? 

• How do you honor your spouse?

• How do you live a life of purity, whether you are married or single?

Having righteous anger against Islam’s teachings in this area is completely valid; use it to have conversations that point to truth and love and to how women are to be viewed in God’s image. Do not let Satan use your anger to create division and arguments. Remember, you are not having these conversations to win an argument; you are there to plant seeds of truth and pray that the Lord will open their eyes and free them from the bondage of Islam.  

Prayer

Dear Lord, thank you for your beautiful design of marriage. Open the eyes of Muslims so they can see it as a reflection of your Son’s love for His bride, the Church. Please rescue young girls in Islamic countries. Draw a multitude of Muslims to your Son Jesus, so they may experience freedom and eternal life.