Most of the time, it is easiest to assume we will grow a friendship with someone who is the same age as us. There tend to be more things that we could have in common with someone who is of the same generation as we are, who grew up with the same things going on in the world.

However, sometimes the best friendship can be one that we don’t expect! If you have a Muslim friend at work who is significantly older or younger than you, don’t write them off. Instead of assuming that they may not be interested in a relationship with you, make an effort to get to know them!

Tips for befriending someone from a different generation

1. Use your differences to your advantage!

Instead of shying away from someone who may not have the same interests or habits as you, you can be excited to get some fresh perspective in your life. Your new friend will be grateful for your acceptance and openness to their points of view. In fact, having differences will give you plenty of new exciting topics to learn about and discuss. Your interest in them may make them feel connected to you and feel comfortable to talk about faith with you.

2. Keep an open mind

Regardless of whether your Muslim friend is older or younger than you, odds are you will both have different perspectives on certain issues depending on the different contexts you were raised in. Do not shut off from them because of this. Hear them out the same way you want them to listen to you, and respect how their experiences have shaped them!

3. Share experiences with each other

Do you have a favorite hobby that you could introduce your new friend to? Do they have a favorite place to go that your friend has never tried? Introducing your friend to something new and being willing to try new things can be a great way to grow your friendship.

While generational differences can seem divisive, especially in a culture where we are told we are all against each other, in reality, having friends who have experiences and ideas that are not like yours is good for you!

And the great thing is, we all need Jesus. Your friend may be looking for an answer to the emptiness in their heart because of Islam, and your friendship could be the first opportunity they have to hear the truth of the gospel. God’s redeeming love for us spans across all time and generations. Share this with your Muslim friend!

How age differences can change your dynamic

Age differences will affect how you can approach a conversation about faith with your Muslim friend.

For example, if your friend is older, they will most likely expect you to respect them as an “elder.” It is respectful to use more formal language to begin with and make sure to always be extra kind. Ask for their advice and wisdom from their lived experiences. If they’re older, odds are they might have moved to the United States as an adult and would love to tell you stories about their home country.

If your Muslim friend is significantly younger than you, create a space for them where they know that they are always heard. Keep a humble spirit, so that they don’t feel like you know everything just because you’re older. Be open to trying new things with them and ask them lots of questions!

How to talk about faith

Regardless of what your age difference is, there is one thing that will go a long way when it comes to your friendship: respect and listening. Your friend might worry that you will assume they are either too old to be relevant or too young to know anything. This is never the case!

Treat your Muslim friend with respect, so they can be comfortable around you. You never know, this may lead them to feel like they can finally start asking certain faith questions around you without judgment.

Questions to help you start faith conversations:

If you need help starting a conversation, think of using one of these questions to get started:

• How have your life experiences made you think about God?
• Does your faith impact your relationships with people?
• What do you wish people my age thought about when it comes to faith?

Prayer

Dear Lord, thank you for the opportunity to make a new friend. Please show me the best ways to love them and spend time with them that is honoring to you! Bless our time with fun activities and heartfelt conversations. Amen.