“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger…” James 1:19

If we asked you to define evangelism, you would probably come up with something along the lines of, “sharing the Gospel with a non-believer” or “talking to someone about Jesus.” When we think of evangelism, we think of what we can say to convince someone that Jesus is the Messiah, or even real, but there is an important part of evangelism that is usually missing: listening.

Listening is equally important as talking when it comes to evangelism, if not more important. This is what sets apart your conversation from being a religious sales pitch to being a caring conversation. If you are trying to tell your Muslim friend how amazing Jesus is without listening to them first, they will be even more shut off from hearing the Gospel.

5 Tips for being a good listener

1. Pay attention - Do not be thinking about what comes next or mentally filing away different arguments for the topic at hand. Listen to them and be attentive!
2. Give nonverbal cues - Making eye contact, nodding your head, and mirroring their emotions are ways that we tell someone that we are listening, and it encourages them to keep talking!
3. Ask clarifying questions - This helps drive the conversation forward and helps both of you critically think about the subject at hand. It also will show your Muslim friend that you care about their opinion and want to hear their point of view. At the same time, this can be a way to start asking questions to make them consider your side.
4. Restate what they said - This is a tool in active listening to make sure that you are understanding your friend and to show them that you are listening attentively. It also gives them a chance to clarify what they said in case you misunderstood.
5. Don’t listen to speak - Never ask questions or start a conversation with only the intent to share your beliefs. Even though you know the truth about who God is and how much He loves us, you need to listen to what your Muslim friend believes. Why? Because this will show your friend you care about them, and give you insight into what they believe about God and how you can introduce them to the truth.

Imagine if your Muslim friend asked you what you believe about life after death, but it was obvious to you that they weren’t really listening and were simply waiting for you to stop talking so that they could make their point. That would be upsetting and would close you off from wanting to talk about those things again. Just like Jesus says in Luke 6:31:

“Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.”

Loving your Muslim friend means valuing their time and their words in the same way you would like them to value yours. Being an attentive listener takes patience and wisdom which, thankfully, the Holy Spirit can give us! Do not feel frantic or pressured to say everything perfectly or lead them to an emotional conversion. Sometimes your conversation will simply be planting seeds in their heart for them to reflect on later.

Conversation starters for talking about the Gospel

When the Holy Spirit gives you the opportunity to have conversations about the Gospel, Jesus, or anything related, it can be hard to know what to say. The Holy Spirit can guide you to have the right words, but there’s also no harm in having a few conversation starters in your back pocket:

• I have read that the Muslims must try to be perfect to please Allah and get into paradise. Is it hard for you to live under that pressure?
• Do you feel safe and secure when you think of Allah or are there times when you are afraid of him? Why?
• I know that in the Quran, there is a version of Jesus named Isa, but the Jesus that I believe in is different. Have you ever heard what the Bible says about Jesus?

After you ask these questions, listen well and have a two-way conversation with them. Be honest and open with them, just like you want them to be honest with you. Your friendship will grow as will their curiosity about Christ. 

Prayer for becoming a good listener

Dear Lord, thank you for this relationship with my Muslim friend. I want to glorify you in everything I do, including the words that I speak and how I listen. Please open up my Muslim friend’s heart to receive Your love and truth. Amen.